They are full of fat, gristle, lips & arseholes, jelly and gravy of varying viscosity. Some pies have no structural integrity and will collapse as soon as they are bitten into, causing molten gravy to stream down your hands like lava, resulting in third degree burns and a brown stain on your freshly laundered white shirt. Although, there are perils involved in eating pies you must never use a spoon or a fork, not even a spork. Pies must be eaten by hand and all Aussies have developed techniques whereby using their figures as scaffolding to keep the shifting and decaying structure intact. This structure remains highly unpredictable so no matter how much experience you have with eating pies or even if you hold a masters degree in structural engineering, you will at some point get scalded, but this a such a small price to pay for such a delicacy. The hallmark of a great pie is as much about the structural integrity of the pastry as it is about the deliciousness of the filling. One way to avoid this danger is to never buy a pie that comes in a plastic wrapper (unless you’re really hanging for one). These ones are most commonly found in servos (service stations) or at the footy.
A pie must also be smothered in an inch of tommy sauce or have the sauce injected through the top by using the squeeze bottle as a syringe. A meat pie is not complete without sauce but can be enhanced (seems impossible doesn’t it) by the addition of mash, mushy pies and/or gravy. Ok, the meat pie already contains gravy, but you can’t have too much gravy, now can you? I love the stuff so much I would seriously swim in it. Just get me a wading pool from Kmart or Big W, fill it up with gravox and I’ll jump right in. I could even pretend I was meat pie filling. But, I couldn’t be included in a beef pie, but could definitely be accepted as an ingredient in a meat pie.
The meats allowed by FSANZ (these guy’s must be the meat police?) in a meat pie are beef, buffalo, camel, cattle, deer, goat, hare, pig, poultry, rabbit and sheep. Kangaroo meat, a leaner alternative, is also sometimes used. However, most pie manufacturers specify ‘beef’ in their ingredients list; typically, those using other types of meat will simply put ‘meat’ in the list instead. FSANZ’s definition of meat includes snouts, ears, tongue roots, tendons and blood vessels. (Wikipedia)
The humble pie is not so humble anymore with a myriad of new fillings to choose from, including Chicken tandoori, Thai Chicken Curry, chicken asparagus and brie, bacon and egg, roast vegies, Mexican etc. Even with these exotic newcomers the mince beef pie is still the most popular. The pie has been the most popular snack in Oz, for sporting events and festivals for as long as there have been sporting events and festivals, but there is a new snack on the scene which has invaded our shores and is winning hearts and minds (and taste buds) of the Australian population. The Turkish meat pie or gozleme (see future gozleme blog) is here, and coming to a fete near you. Look out sausage sarnie, they have their sights on you too.
